Monday, December 8, 2008

Six years

Last month marked six years since watching my best friend die of cancer and really the start of my journey down the road of persuing a profession in childhood cancer. The experience of watching him die a very graphic death, the flashbacks, the depression that followed, having to lose a friend that was more of a brother; all of this at times I feel I would have rather done without. But then again where would I be if none of this hapenned? Who would I be? I probably wouldn't have a blog about childhood cancer or be working with the amazing kids at the hospital. I may not even be looking at a career in pediatric oncology or even in medicine. I probably wouldn't be persuing the oppotunities that I have to be involved in research in childhood cancers. I think my life would be alot different.

Sure watching my friend die and everything afterward is markebly probably the hardest year in my life. I never thought he would die. There was times I wanted to give up on life myself. Times I wished I never had that experience. But I feel the words from the Rascall Flatts song "Here" kind of sums up what my feelings have become. "and I wouldn't change a thing, I'd walk right back through the rain back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking. and I'd relive all the years, and be thankful for the tears I cried with every stumble step...[that] got me here." I am sad that such an amazing young man had to lose his life to such a terrible disease. But I am glad I was able to be a part of it. I am thankful for the experiences that came to break me and then make me.

8 comments:

Brewer Family said...

We all miss Jon too. Dan you are an amazing person and we know you will do amazing things for the world of Cancer.

Kyle Alfriend said...

I wish you success in your work with kids with cancer. My son is now 6 months into remission from a fight few thought he would survive. What made the difference was the Oncologists who were willing to speak openly with us, and think out side the box It took a while to find them).

I appreciate the passion you clearly have for these kids. I look forward to hearing great things about you in the future.

Kyle Alfriend
TylerAlfriend.blogspot.com

Curt McCormick said...

I work for CureSearch; we support the work of the Children's Oncology Group, the world's premier pediatric cancer research collaborative. www.curesearch.org

It will be true honor for us the day you join us to conquer this awful disease!

All the best to you.
Curt McCormick

AJay Piniewski said...

We need you. The kids need you. We will fight for you and do what we can, but we need you on the inside....

AJs Dad
PAC2

Photography By Jo said...

This really brought tears to my eyes! Bringing back the memories of pain and the depression that I too suffered. I too wonder why I was there. If it at all made me a better person. I'm so glad that you are doing what you know you should do and working for a cause. You are such an amazing person.

Omega said...

One of the toughest things for parents is to watch their children go through such trials. It was so difficult to watch my children struggle, with their best friend dying of cancer. Knowing there is little you can do for them, yet knowing in the end they would be stronger. Then to look at them a few years later and see the incredible adults they have become. What an incredible feeling it is to know that my children do, and will continue, to have a profound influence for good in the world.

Jenn said...

You are amazing and I admire you so much!

Andra said...

I have not had to watch a child die of cancer, but know many who have. I have raised a disabled child and at times mourned the loss of a normal life for her. I have lost both parents and a brother in law and a sister in law. I watched them all die. I understand how hard that is, and often question why they had to leave us behind. I honestly can say, if it were not for the gospel of Jesus Christ, and my faith, I could never have endured watching such a terrible disease take their lives. I applaud you for wanting to be an instrument with God in saving lives, making those who couldn't be saved better, and your great determination as a man to make a difference.