Six years

Last month marked six years since watching my best friend die of cancer and really the start of my journey down the road of persuing a profession in childhood cancer. The experience of watching him die a very graphic death, the flashbacks, the depression that followed, having to lose a friend that was more of a brother; all of this at times I feel I would have rather done without. But then again where would I be if none of this hapenned? Who would I be? I probably wouldn't have a blog about childhood cancer or be working with the amazing kids at the hospital. I may not even be looking at a career in pediatric oncology or even in medicine. I probably wouldn't be persuing the oppotunities that I have to be involved in research in childhood cancers. I think my life would be alot different.

Sure watching my friend die and everything afterward is markebly probably the hardest year in my life. I never thought he would die. There was times I wanted to give up on life myself. Times I wished I never had that experience. But I feel the words from the Rascall Flatts song "Here" kind of sums up what my feelings have become. "and I wouldn't change a thing, I'd walk right back through the rain back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking. and I'd relive all the years, and be thankful for the tears I cried with every stumble step...[that] got me here." I am sad that such an amazing young man had to lose his life to such a terrible disease. But I am glad I was able to be a part of it. I am thankful for the experiences that came to break me and then make me.