No way to have a bad day

I always seem to find new motivation when I go to the childrens hospital. Sometimes I get so bogged down with school work and work and trying to do so much in so little time there are times I want to throw my hands in the air and quite and go work at the grocery store for the rest of my life and become that nice old gentleman that bags your groceries but always puts the canned food on top of the bread. Sometimes a less demanding career and fifteen less years of school and training seem pretty appealing. But then I run into a little girl at the hospital like the one I have gotten the opportunity to know the last couple weeks.

This adorable little girl stands just over four feet tall and I would be suprised if she weighed forty pounds. Her body has been so ravished there is little left. She hadn't been able to walk in weeks and the first time I met her was the first time she was able to walk down the hall with the aid of her walker. She was obviously in pain. Feeding tubes ran from her nostrils, IV lines ran from her constant companion of an IV pole into the port in her tiny little chest. her walking consisted of hopping on her one leg she could bare weight on. Physically, she was in shambles. But from her sunken face radiated the most endearing smile. Her voice was so polite and so sweet. Everything made her smile, life was still a beautiful thing. She had every reason to be down, but found every reason to be happy. Her mom had brought her to the playroom in hopes to get a few minutes to take a shower as being at her daughters side for days had not afforded her the opportunity. This little girl instantly brightened the play room. She talked and laughed with us and even drew pictures for us. I sat in awe at her cheerfulness and strength. I can't think of a more sweet and polite girl I have ever met. It was a mix of emotions, her physically diminished appearance was enough to make anyones heart drop but her countenance and smile could lift the heaviest heart. When her mom returned to the playroom and they were leaving she turned to her mom and said "Mom I want to give him a hug." How could I resist? I tenderly hugged her and watched her slowly make her way back to her room for the night. She truly had left me in awe.

At times when I feel like pursuing such a proffession is too much or I feel like I am having a bad day I can't help but think of this little girl and countless other little pillars of strength I have come across in the hospital. Children who, despite pain, fear, and being faced with a dehabilitating disease find ways to not only be happy themselves, but to radiate that joy to everyone around them. Pediatric oncology certainly has its hard days, but with the example of this little girl and so many others there really is no way to have a bad day.